Nine ways to cope with rejection

Rejection from agents and publishers that is, not from that guy you’ve had a crush on for years. Although, while we’re on that topic, if you’re looking for advice on how to cope with unrequited love, public humiliations and silent stalemates, I’m your girl!

But let’s put all that aside, because today, it’s all about the query.

That query.

The one you sent three months ago.

You’ve just received an email, heard the delectable ‘ping’ of its arrival. Your heart is racing, your breathing is hitched and your hands are sweating. Even though it’s been forever since you submitted a query, your spidey sense is tingling and you know exactly who the email is from.


Dear You,

Thank you for sending your query and first pages. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I wasn’t captivated enough to ask to see more material. But it’s a subjective business and I hope another agent will be interested. 

Thank you again for sending your query and I wish you the best of luck in your publishing endeavors.

Best wishes,

The agent’s name

The agent’s agency


You sit in silence, processing the rejection and trying to come to terms with the fact that your hopes and dreams have been dashed, once again.

WTF!! Why is this happening again? Am I THAT bad a writer? How many rejections is this now? 22 or 42??

How the hell do you get over this?

1) Crying. It’s OK to cry. Find a nice couch to sit on, preferably in private, and allow yourself to wallow in your misery

turkey-coma1

 

2) But don’t wallow too much, or you may just find yourself slipping into a hole you can’t get out of

funny-cat-gif

 

3)  Give yourself permission to let lose, to go wild.

Angry-cat-hates-everything

 

4) Go bungee jumping or swimming with the sharks, just do anything that will get the blood pumping and the adrenaline flowing through your veins again

flying cat

 

5) When you get back down to Earth, hang out with your friends. The ones that love you even though they know you spend your Saturdays in your pyjamas… watching Star Trek reruns

too-many-cats

 

6) Use that marvellous brain of yours and imagine a future where you are a widely successful, prize-winning author who is loved and adored the world over. It can happen

cat glasses

 

7) Play some music, the inspirational kind. The kind that sets your heart on fire and gets you ready for battle

waiting cat

 

8) Start writing again, no matter how shitty you feel. Write like you’ve never written before. Write something new, write 5,000 words in one hit, write the story that bleeds from your soul. Hold on to the muse and never let go

hanging cat

 

9) Lastly, and most importantly, do what writers do best. Eat a shit load of chocolate.

cat icecream.gif

52 responses to “Nine ways to cope with rejection”

  1. […] I don’t usually let myself cry (or admit to it), but on that day my body demanded I shed some tears. I think it’s healthy and normal to feel sad and it’s okay if the rejections sting. Not only that, I hope they always sting – for me and for you. To feel nothing would mean the end of hope, the end of dreaming, the end of cat gifs. […]

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  2. crossfitmomm Avatar

    I was in tears over the fat cat jumping and missing the window sill! And I LOVE the chocolate. I’ve felt like this every time I get a rejection letter. Great post and great laughs! Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      Hahaha me too, that’s my favourite cat GIF! You can apply it to SO MANY situations hahaha

      Like

  3. calmkate Avatar

    love the humour of these very useful tips … do hope no cat was hurt in the process lol 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. greg-in-washington Avatar

    Chocolate always makes things better!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. True12th,Imam Avatar

    Loved this post! very delightful

    Liked by 1 person

  6. bonniejtoomey Avatar

    A little humor goes a long way. Milly’s cats and advice are worth seeing!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. TheLilReader Avatar
    TheLilReader

    Awesome

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Mercy Avatar

    Really inspiring tips. Thanks😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Deepika Avatar

    haha awesome tips!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Timeless Classics -- Poetry by Ana Daksina Avatar

    PRICE-less!! OMG! I’m an instant follower! Also, think I’ll reblog this one over to my sister site, Success Inspirers World. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      Yay!! Thanks, I feel honoured that you’re even considering following & reblogging!! 🙂

      Like

  11. Maria Avatar

    So cute & positive🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Eleanor Avatar

    Even worse than rejection letters/slips is this: absolutely no response what-so-bloody-ever.
    Your tips are the best

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      Hahahah oh yes!! The ‘no response’ rejection is the worst, you summed it up nicely, what-so-bloody-ever hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

  13. CelesteMiller Avatar
    CelesteMiller

    Oh man, now here’s a set of tips and disgruntled-cat feelings I can relate to! Those rejection slips are the worst, especially after months of waiting (during which you manage to convince yourself that of course they see how brilliant you are!… They’re just taking so long to answer because they’re planning out how to afford both your million-dollar advance as well as the library built in your honour, all in the same fiscal year).

    Thanks for sharing this healthy dose of how to go from well-earned wallowing, through to bucking up and pushing on 🙂 not just good for a laugh, but good for the fresh rejections I’m sure will be rolling in once I get around to finishing and submitting things again 😛 cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      I go through the same thing, the hope that this might be ‘the one’. When I started submitting my third novel (The Other Pretty One) I thought I might have a chance. I was thinking, surely my writing is better now? Surely my story telling has improved? Surely I’ll get lucky and hit the sweet spot?

      But no cigar.

      Every single damn time. Hahahah

      Good luck!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. CelesteMiller Avatar
        CelesteMiller

        Ugh, yep, every friggin’ time. I feel your pain — all this self improvement work on our craft really feels like it should be paying off by now!

        But in the meantime, this is why we have friends. And wine. And pizza.

        Cheers to that sweet spot hurrying the heck up 😀 and good luck to you too!

        Like

  14. Soul Gifts Avatar
    Soul Gifts

    Cats rule the universe! You do know that, don’t you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      I’m beginning to suspect this may be the case

      Liked by 1 person

  15. yearofvulnerability Avatar

    Haha. Love the gifs that occupy this. No.2 was sooo funny. Thanks for the tips. I, not yet at that stage of submitting my work but will be this year so good to know.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. mariemclean Avatar

    Why on earth do we do this a to ourselves? 🤣
    I so cannot wait to cheer you on from the rooftops when I see your post that says ‘I did it! I’m being published!’
    😻

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      You too Marie!! I keep looking out for that post on your blog 🙂

      I have no clue why we let ourselves go through this! Why not just be happy writing without this crazy pursuit to get published? I think writers who want to get pubished must be a combination of two parts hopeful, two parts stoic and four parts cryptically insane. Can’t explain it otherwise hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

  17. firobertson Avatar

    I’ve never thought about going out and getting a hit of adrenaline (no bungee jumping for me, but a rollercoaster might be fun!) – that would definitely help!
    And I LOVE this line ‘Write the story that bleeds from your soul’. Fantastic.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. J.M. Williams Avatar

    I love the “it’s a subjective business” line that always appears in form rejections. As if they really believe that. I’m sure they are really thinking “Maybe another agent has lower standards than me, because I know good writing when I see it, which is what I am an awesome agent.” Regarding number 7, I find “Eye of the Tiger” always helps. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      Yeah I really despise that line, I suppose they use it to keep the ‘crazies’ at bay. I’d love it if the industry had a multiple template system (so I could know how close I am, the ‘subjective’ excuse can mean so many things!):

      1). I think it’s amazing, but I just signed a similar novel, keep trying!
      2). It’s great but the industry isn’t crying out for a book like this
      3). It has potential but too many issues with it and I don’t have the time to tell you how to fix it OR it has potential but too many issues with it and this is how you can fix it and resubmit…
      4). Your writing/book/idea sucks. Write a new one and get back to me in 10 years

      I understand why they would never do this, but I can dream!

      When I read the ‘captivate’ line, I just immediately assumed my book was a 4.

      Like

  19. Katerina Avatar

    OMG yes. Cats and writing and rejection. Three things I deal with on a daily basis in varying degrees. LOL. Thank you for this.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. BB Morgan Avatar

    I read this one just for the cats, then again for the content. Both are great!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Jaclynne Tran Avatar
    Jaclynne Tran

    I honestly love your gifs! I really like your post and your blog. Your writing is really light-hearted and refreshing to read! Keep it up 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  22. deborahanndykeman Avatar

    Loved the cat videos to go along with your post!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Anony Mole Avatar

    Those who reject you today will rue your future success. It is they who have lost, they who failed to understand the subtlety of your prose, they who have “missed out.”

    Liked by 1 person

  24. SharingIsCaringThursday: the best articles from the past week – Richie Billing Avatar

    […] Nine Ways to Cope With Rejection by Millie Schmidt […]

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  25. frazzledagain Avatar

    Reblogged this on Rant and Reason and commented:
    Okay cat blogging lovers! This you have to read, see! It will cheer you up immensly, you will laugh! Promise.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. livepositiveblogblog Avatar

    Love the cat-isms. Really great way of seeing the positive side of a rejection.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. DGGYST Avatar

    Hey girl! Can you send me a list of the agents you send your work to? I too want to want to fall into a pit of despair. I would really appreciate it! girl@damngirlgetyourshittogether.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Milly Schmidt Avatar

      This is embarrassing but I don’t actually have a list. I just keep track based on the emails I’ve sent (four separate folders: sent, replies, rejections, acceptances). Clearly, one of those folders is empty. I usually jump on a site, do some research, and send some emails. I gave up keeping track a while ago, lol.

      For aussie agents I use this site: https://austlitagentsassoc.com/members/

      I also stop by Writer’s Digest every now and then for agents who are building their lists: http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/new-agency-alerts.

      I also use this list: http://www.manuscriptwishlist.com/find-agentseditors/agent-list/

      Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful!

      Like

  28. thejourneyofabook Avatar

    Sad thing is ujntil read this post I hadn’t even thought about getting an agent. Now I feel some type of way 😣

    Like

  29. George F. Avatar

    Hysterically funny good advice!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. notdonner Avatar

    Milly, #6, 7, 8 are wonderful. I think I have to pass on #9 though. Keep writing. Here’s a great selection of writing motivators from great authors I happened to find when I was recalling a quote: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/writing
    Twain is one of my favorites….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. floatinggold Avatar

      But 9 is the whole point of the coping process!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. notdonner Avatar

        way before I began writing, my coping skill in that area (#9) was Olympic-medal -category !! cheers! love this post and the GIFs are fun.

        Liked by 2 people

  31. Steven Colborne Avatar

    Absolutely hilarious GIFs, thanks for bringing a smile to my face!

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Scott Avatar

    Good stuff, Milly. The fact that you try to get published puts you so much further ahead than so many that want to be published…

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Anne Kramer-Author Avatar

    Love this! So original and fun!

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Scott Nagele Avatar

    Who knew so many cats had manuscripts rejected?

    Liked by 3 people

  35. Robert Varga Avatar

    And never forget: it’s a subjective business, so all those are opinions/taste matters, and the letter doesn’t say anything about yourself. That is your cat’s task anyway 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  36. projectirene Avatar

    Best tips I ever saw 🙂 .. Hope the crappy feeling fades away fast!

    Liked by 1 person

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